my role model: Christina Hendricks

Wow.

Quote of the day

"The first duty of everybody in life is to realize that you are a piece of shit. You are selfish, you are self centered and that you are willing to sacrifice 20,000 people in a foreign country just so that you can go to a Wings concert. Sacrifice like 100,000 Chinese female babies just so you can rent this fucking camera and do your stupid art project. No problem - you are a piece of shit. Once you realize you are a piece of shit it's not so hard to take because then you do not have this feeling that you're a good person all the time and let me tell you something - feeling like you are a good person all the time is like having a brand new car with no scratches on it. It's a real responsibility which is almost impossible to live up to. Being a piece of shit and then occasionally doing something that is good and true is a much easier place to be and I think that is really important and I always tried to make my kids understand that they are not so terrific and that not being so terrific - that's OK because most people who say they are terrific, Bill Clinton, Cardinal Egan, anybody you want to talk about - they are not so terrific. Martha Stewart - not so terrific either. There is nothing wrong with not being so terrific. It's what the whole ball game is about - not being so terrific and accepting it."

- Kenny Shopsin - owner of Shopsin's Restaurant in Greenwich Village in the documentary, "I Like Killing Flies".

The Man with Two Brains

This might be one of the funniest and most ridiculous films I have ever seen. Plus, Steve Martin's style in it is simply impeccable. His skinny ties, pastel suits, plaid shirts, and metal aviators make me swoon. If he started playing the banjo I might have hyperventilated. Why we're not married already I'll never know.

My new hero.

Finally got around to watching Food, Inc. Wow. One of the most disturbing and powerful documentaries I've ever seen. I might have sobbed like a baby. It was really embarrassing. But it actually made me get out of my seat and do research. Like, I WANTED TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. It was insane. I haven't felt this passion since the 2004 election, sadly. And who did this? Joel Salatin. The Virginia farmer who is living the life I want. Not only is he brilliant and witty and strong and passionate...he's a freakin' amazing farmer who lets his pigs play in the mood. Delight in their "pigness." In fact, the passion carried over into the next day. I learned about this farm and other's apprenticeships. And I made a phone call. A PHONE CALL. Do you know how hard it is for me to make a phone call these days? I only email because I'm so afraid of confrontation and looking stupid and asking questions. Especially when I really care about it. But I did. And that's all I'm going to say for now.

Nicolas Cage is (was) a real dreamboat.

When I was in seventh grade, Nicolas Cage was the ultimate hottie. I watched him in Face/Off and that was it. I was hooked. No pimply, scrawny, junior varsity football player could do it for me after that. I was ruined for the rest of my angst-ridden adolescent years, as who in Georgetown, Texas, could ever live up to...THE CAGE?

Unfortunately, Nic has fallen by the wayside these days. His career continues to embarrass me, and I don't really want to see or pay for any of his films. It's just too sad. The receding hairline, the plugs, the desperation, the young, formerly-a-waitress wife...what happened, Nic?

That being said...I rewatched Valley Girl last night and fell in love all over again. His style, Flock of Seagulls hair, voice, awkwardness...it's all just dead sexy. GAWD.

I kind of want an Amish boyfriend?

Is that so wrong? I've always had fantasies about forsaking my entire existence, throwing my iPhone into a pond, shaving my head (okay that's a bit much, think I'm allowed to keep my hair) burning all my fancy clothes (bit of a stretch, they mostly come from thrift stores, guess I have one or two nice things) melting down my jewelry to make weapons (okay, now that's just weird. At least keep the antique jewelry or sell it for money and donate to orphans. No need to ruin a piece of the past to make weapons. You're a pacifist, remember?) sowing a field of wheat (don't really know how, but totally doable) and milking cows at 4:30am (in theory, a great idea. I love cows and dairy products. I hate getting up early but perhaps allowances can be made.)

ANYWAYS. I know it's easy to romanticize the Amish or the Mennonites or the Quakers or the Shakers or the Mamas and the Papas. Life isn't that easy or simple. Or is it? Maybe all I really want on a Sunday is to go to a barn raising and make two dozen Shoo Fly pies. Maybe I really don't NEED buttons on my clothing. And who needs cars when you've got a lovely horse and buggy? I'm pretty sure they frown on makeup, but I'll just explain to them that red lipstick is necessary--it's like a marking on a flower to let bees know there's nectar. Okay, that sounds kind of gross. I'm gonna wrap this up and say, if all Amish men look like Viggo Mortensen in Witness, count me in.

Dirty old man pick-up line of the week

"You're not beautiful, but you look very mischievous. Yes, like Puck in A Midsummer's Night Dream..."

Puck is a man. He's also a douchebag in an old The Real World.

Thanks.