I could really go for some Carpenters right about now. It’s dark, cold, rainy—a lethal combination that ensures I will never go out again! So I was supposed to have brunch and see a Karl Lagerfeld photography exhibit with Mike Fink, a Romanian/Parisian I met at my very first meetup today. However, I had my reservations as I’m not at all interested in the guy (duh) but I wasn’t quite sure what he was thinking. We had had dinner before (was supposed to be coffee but turned into dinner…) and he was very courteous, helping me put my coat on and such. But my feminine instinct told me the dude was probably interested. I’m starting to think I should slap a stupid “in a relationship” option on my Facebook profile just to get it over with.
It’s tough, you’re so desperate to make friends here that you accept any invitation you receive. I want to make friends, not date people. But is it possible to go out one-on-one with a guy here? I guess not, unless it’s just coffee and during the day. ANNOYING. It seems like all my friends will most likely be very young au pairs. But I digress. So when Mike called me Saturday night to confirm, I casually mentioned I had a girlfriend I hadn’t seen in awhile (little white lie, as I had just seen Kacy hours ago) and would like to bring her along to brunch. I felt this sent an effective message that I just wanted to be friends.
He got all blustery and told me to forget about our brunch, we could do it another time. Huh. But THEN (this is the clincher) told me this was “strike one.” Ahem. I really felt like telling him off at this point but I just politely ignored it. And he then proceeded to tell me a sexist joke about a cowboy and his strikes. Alrighty. Not even worth keeping as a friend at this point. Which is a shame because I really would have liked a native Parisian friend who would have helped me get my iPhone unlocked.
Men are so typical. They get so sensitive and touchy when a woman isn’t interested. You’re immediately not worth their time and they want nothing to do with you. I started overanalyzing the situation and thinking of the guy as a major creep: what kind of local loser goes to ex-pat meetups if only to pray on lonely Americans who jump at the chance for any kind of social invitation? In the States I more than likely would not have chatted as long, let alone agree to a coffee/dinner date. Sigh. Can I just wear a button that says “Not interested. Just here to make friends.”
I guess this is a stupid thing to complain about. I should be flattered, right? But I’m still just effing annoyed. It’s the sense of entitlement men get when they ask a girl out. You’re not the first guy, and you’re definitely not the last. Ugh. Annoyed. I thought about writing a very blunt email telling him exactly what I thought, but I figured that was too “forward American” behavior and I should probably just ignore his calls from now on. How do you say “passive aggressive” en Francais?
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