Can we all please stop having foodgasms?

I used to write restaurant reviews for the Daily Texan newspaper and it. Was. Awesome. I didn't get too high-falutin' or big for my britches. I just went to decent restaurants and tried to get a story out of it. Best job ever. But lately...I'm just really annoyed by the whole restaurant/food truck/pop-up shop/soup on a bike thing. Why has the food scene become so trendy-licious? It's local this and sustainable that and Basque fusion bullshit. If I have to read about someone going "nom nom" or having a one-night stand with their Chicken-n-Waffles or combining Korean and Mexican to make French crepes or how there's this amazing food truck but you have to get the secret password from Twitter to find it and then guess what's on their daily menu and if you guess wrong you're not getting jack-shit and OMG have you tried sow's ear???? It's like the best thing I've ever put in my mouth!!! I eat weird parts of pig because I want to appear cultivated and European!!! High-end BBQ! Reverse late-night happy hour brunch explosion!!! Salmon foam and artichoke-pumpkin seed mousse! Fusion!!!

Okay I'm done. Review below:


"Come for the mezzes, stay for the belly dancers"

Don’t be fooled by the somewhat seedy appearance of Ararat Restaurant. Located on 111 East North Loop, the restaurant sits on a strip surrounded by such hipster havens as Monkeywrench Books and Room Service, a vintage furniture store.

The interior is welcoming and warm, if a bit threadbare. Walls are covered with Turkish tapestries and one can sit at a regular wooden table or a low round table with cushioned stools if you’re feeling more adventurous (and flexible). Ararat is a popular place to bring large groups of people, and something I would definitely recommend, as my party of two felt very lonely at our small table. Belly dancers make their appearance on weekends, but come prepared with $1’s so you can tip. The music was enjoyable, but way too loud. It made conversation with the waiter and my dining companion difficult, if not impossible at times.

The outside garden was festive and fun at night. The ground glittered with glass rocks and there were Christmas lights strung about. One large party was seated at a low table in the back patio, which can accommodate up to 25 people. It was definitely the best seat in the house.

The family style option is the way to go, especially if you have a party of four or more. Though pricey, it allows you to get a nice sampling of all the restaurant has to offer. At $25 per person, it includes mezzes (appetizers), entrée, pita bread, dessert, coffee, corking fee, tax, and gratuity. I regretted not bringing another two people and a bottle of wine, because Ararat is also BYOB. The family style prices ranged from $15 to $30, and our waiter encouraged us to go for the $25 meal in order to get the grilled beef and chicken.

Our first mezzes included hummus, baba ghanouj, tabouli, maust museer, dolmeh, patlican, and warm pita bread for scooping. The hummus, a beautiful mustard color blend of garbanzo beans, garlic, spices, and tahini was delicious. So was the baba ghanouj, an exotically spiced blended eggplant dip. The dolmeh, grape leaves stuffed with rice and nuts, were way too small. They should skip the patlican (fried eggplant with yogurt cucumber sauce) and supersize the dolmeh. The tabouli suffered from too much parsley.

Unfortunately, after the mezzes, my companion and I were comfortably full. But the fun had just begun. Brightly colored Fiesta bowls filled with grilled lamb, beef, chicken, shawerma stew, chole, Persian rice, bulghar wheat, and maust museer soon arrived. The mansaf (roasted lamb with rosemary and garlic) was our favorite dish of the night. The lamb was tender and the garbanzo bean carrot sauce absolutely divine. The other grilled meats were uniquely spiced, but we were too full to appreciate them. The stew and grilled vegetables paled in comparison.

The dessert was the smallest dish of the night, which was just as well considering the mountain of meat we had indulged in. It consisted of a tiny square of baklava surrounded by three puff pastries and drizzled with Turkish coffee chocolate sauce. But the iced Turkish coffee was the winner as our perfect complement to our hedonistic meal. My dining companion and I waddled out into the night with mounds of leftovers and stuffed smiles of contentment.

(More reviews found at www.lindseykate.yelp.com)